Burn

I look back on everything and realize how foolish I’ve been. I can’t​ stop thinking about it all and all I can hope is that you get what you deserve.

I’m not jealous at all. Maybe a little at first but the truth is you don’t love Sami. You never loved me, and you never loved Charity either. In fact the only person that you know how to love is yourself. You, Colton Emil Edward Nelson, are a textbook case of narcissistic personality disorder.

I was just a toy to you. Someone that fell in love with you so hard that you knew you could drag me through hell and back just for fun. You know what the worst part is? Having to explain to my daughter that you were no better than Prince Hans of the Southern Isles. She’s only four, but she has seen Frozen enough times to understand that you only pretended to be nice to use me.

I guess I just don’t understand. I mean yeah I get using me for sex (even tho it was only twice and it was terrible, you’re very selfish even in bed) but the emotional abuse I just don’t understand. Why? Did you get some sort of sick satisfaction demanding things of me and then accusing me of not doing them? Was it fun to make me tell you that I loved you when you didn’t love me? Did it make you feel good about yourself that you had power over me? That’s all love is to you – power. And just like money, you love power and don’t care who you destroy to stroke your own ego.

I’m not sure if anything you told me was the truth now. I bet there’s no real ranch, you were never in the military and you probably assaulted Charity that time that I bailed you out of jail. Oh and for the record I still want my fucking bail money back. Because unlike you, I’m not a spoiled brat with money to wipe my ass with. Unlike you I’m a real human being with a real heart that you tried to destroy. Well guess what? You didn’t and I feel sorry for Sami and her kids. They’re going to watch you abuse her psychologically and emotionally and think that it’s acceptable behavior in a relationship.

You’ve taught me a few things tho. First of all to be weary of the charming men who will “do anything” to make me “theirs”. Funny how that didn’t work out for you considering I was never going to be a full doormat and change for you. Second of all I’ve learned that my daughter deserves to see me with a REAL man that won’t disrespect me or call me names or treat me like shit all while talking to someone else and pretending to love me.

You’re nothing but an immature child, and I hope one day you’ll stop destroying the women you pretend to love. Maybe one day you’ll get the mental help you so desperately need and learn how to actually love someone without abusing them. 

Oh and you know what? I did actually cheat on you with Eric, on Christmas night to be exact. That’s the sad part, you hurt me so much and pushed me so far away that I wanted so badly to hurt you back. Guess it’s a good thing you never really loved me any way, otherwise you might have actually been hurt by that. But you have no heart, so you can’t be hurt. Now that you’re gone, you’re never going to hurt me again and I’m so happy you have no power over me any more.

Again, I just hope you get what you deserve…

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